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"She's Out of My Life"

Date range confirmed in Mike Smallcombe’s “Making Michael” (“The main sessions began in early December of 1978… The first song recorded for the album, ‘She’s Out of My Life’, was a ballad written by associate producer Tom Bahler... Michael was forced to leave the studio in January 1979 to begin rehearsing with his brothers for their forthcoming Destiny Tour, which was due to kick off in the German city of Bremen on January 22.”)

Michael Jackson, “Moonwalk” autobiography (February 1, 1988)

I felt that if you were having a party, [“Off the Wall” and Rock with You”] would get people in the door, and the harder boogie songs would send everyone home in a good mood. And then there was “She’s Out of My Life.” Maybe that was too personal for a party.

It was for me. Sometimes it’s hard for me to look my dates in the eye even if I know them well. My dating and relationships with girls have not had the happy ending I’ve been looking for. Something always seems to get in the way. The things I share with millions of people aren’t the sort of things you share with one. Many girls want to know what makes me tick—why I live the way I live or do the things I do—trying to get inside my head. They want to rescue me from loneliness, but they do it in such a way that they give me the impression they want to share my loneliness, which I wouldn’t wish on anybody, because I believe I’m one of the loneliest people in the world.

“She’s Out of My Life” is about knowing that the barriers that have separated me from others are temptingly low and seemingly easy to jump over and yet they remain standing while what I really desire disappears from my sight. Tom Bahler composed a beautiful bridge, which seemed right out of an old Broadway musical. In reality, such problems are not so easily resolved and the song presents this fact, that the problem is not overcome. We couldn’t put this cut at the beginning or the end of the record, because it would have been such a downer. That’s why when Stevie’s song comes on afterward, so gently and tentatively, as if it was opening a door that had been bolted shut, I still go, “Whew.” By the time Rod’s “Burn This Disco Out” closes the record, the trance is broken.

But I got too wrapped up in “She’s Out of My Life.” In this case, the story’s true—I cried at the end of a take, because the words suddenly had such a strong effect on me. I had been letting so much build up inside me. I was twenty-one years old, and I was so rich in some experiences while being poor in moments of true joy. Sometimes I imagine that my life experience is like an image in one of those trick mirrors in the circus, fat in one part and thin to the point of disappearing in another. I was worried that would show up on “She’s Out of My Life,” but if it touched people’s heartstrings, knowing that would make me feel less lonely.

When I got emotional after that take, the only people with me were Q and Bruce Swedien. I remember burying my face in my hands and hearing only the hum of the machinery as my sobs echoed in the room. Later I apologized, but they said there was no need.

“Black Echoes” (February 24, 1979)

But the monster song in the album is a Tom Bahler song called ‘She’s Out Of My Life’. The words are so beautiful, and it has a terrific melody, really pretty. I’m hoping it will come out as a single.

"Blues & Soul" magazine (August 28, 1979) (archived)

There is a ballad on the album called "She's Out of My Life" that I want to mention. It is a really touching song that was written by Tom Bahler and every time I had to sing it, I broke out in tears almost! It's such a pretty song, and Quincy really captured it.

Tom Bahler, songwriter, “CmonGetHappy.com” interview (2000) (archived)

When we did the recording, Quincy [Jones] loved the way I played piano on the song when I wrote it, not because I am a good pianist but because there was a certain feeling there. But I couldn’t play it in the key that Michael sang it in. I wrote it in E flat and he sang it in E. I tried as best I could, but it took on a whole other meaning because I am not a pianist and it was just screwed up. We even tried “VSO-ing" [using a Variable Speed Oscillator] it up a half step, but it didn’t feel right. So, Quincy recorded me playing it in my key and we made a tape for the pianist who was going to record it for the album. He took it home and studied it in order to grasp whatever magic was there in my performance. When I listen to the record, I think, “God – it sounds just like me!”  Those are called “polaroids” in making records. You do polaroid vocals, too.

“ArticlesBase” (June 24, 2010) (archived)

Tom wrote a ballad [in 1977] describing emotional heartbreak, detailing what was currently going on in his life. The song was called "She's Out of My Life." "I was going with a wonderful woman and woke up with her, and she wanted to get married, and I wasn't ready," he said. "These thoughts were going through my mind on the freeway one night. I said [to myself,] ‘Hey man, you made a choice. Face it. She's out of your life.' I was like ‘Wow' at what I was thinking. By the time I got home, the song was written in 13 minutes."

Tom's ballad is featured on Jackson's 1979 solo album Off the Wall. According to him, Jackson wasn't his original choice to sing the track. "But [Michael] understood drama," he said. Jackson was moved by the song and tearful toward the end of every recording he made. Tom said Jones had Jackson record the song 12 times before deciding to keep the emotional ending. The version released on Off the Wall is the first recording Jackson made. "When he sang ‘She's Out of My Life," he cried," Tom said. "People don't hear how he apologized at the end of every take. I asked Michael on a break if he was alright. I said, ‘Hey man, sorry if I hit a chord.' [Michael] said, ‘No man, I was just getting into the lyrics."

Chris Cadman’s “Michael Jackson the Maestro”

It was originally believed that Tom had written it after breaking up with Karen Carpenter, but this was never the case.

“I wrote it in 1977 and I had been drifting in and out of relationships in a 2-year-time. I was going with a wonderful woman and woke up with her and she wanted to get married and I wasn’t ready. These thoughts were going through my mind on the freeway one night. I said, ‘Hey man, you made a choice. Face it, she’s out of your life.” By the time I got home, the song was written in 13 minutes.”

...“When he sang She’s Out Of My Life he cried. People don’t hear how he apologised at the end of each take. We did 12 other vocal tracks of She’s out of my Life. At the time Quincy tried to get the crying out. We did 12 tracks and the first track was it. I asked Michael on a break. At a break I said “hey sorry man, sorry if I hit a chord.” He said, “No man, I just got into the lyric.”

Bruce Swedien, recording engineer, “Gearslutz” forum (September 12, 2006) (archived)

One day Quincy and I were in the control room working on something, and I noticed out of the corner of my eye, that Tom Bahler was at the piano in the studio, playing and singing a song for Bea. She was obviously very interested in it. The song Tom was playing and singing for Bea was‚ “She's Out of My Life”.

The following year, when we were working on Michael’s Solo Album “Off The Wall”, we recorded it with Michael. How Michael could do such a sincere interpretation of the lyric has always puzzled me, because I know it was an experience he had never even thought about. It's a very mature emotion, and Michael was only 19 years old at the time.

When we were recording Michael´s vocal, he broke down and cried at the end of every take. We recorded about six or seven takes. At the end of each take Michael was sobbing, actually crying. I know he was sincere, because when we finished the last take, Michael was too embarrassed to come in the control room. He just tippy-toed out the back door of the studio, got in his car, and left the studio building. Quincy said to me, "Hey... that's supposed to be, leave it on there, leave it there.”

We didn’t see Michael again until a day or two later! I don't know how Michael was relating to the subject, “She's Out of My Life”. He´d never had that kind of grown-up relationship with anybody, I don't think so, anyway…

Quincy Jones, album co-producer, “Rolling Stone” (July 8, 2014) (archived)

We started to work on The Wiz when he was about 19. He said, "I need a producer for my album," seeing if I had a personal interest in working with him. I said, "Michael, I don't want to talk about nothing but the film." But I was trying to find things that he hadn't done before. I had this song "She's Out of My Life" that Tommy Bahler wrote when his wife left him. I was saving that for Sinatra, but I said, "I want to try this with Michael, 'cause he's never had a real life experience, a genuine relationship with a woman." I saw him at the Oscars one year – he was doing "Ben," this romantic love story to a rat! So I gave the song to him, and every time we recorded it, he cried.

Radio “Spotlight Special” (January 15, 1984)

I just could feel inside it, he had the capacity to deal with that kind of emotion before, 'cause I think he's mature enough now to deal with that. And it was a song that a friend of mine wrote after his wife left him, and—a very painful song, and it was interesting, because we made about five takes that day, and every take, the last eight bars, Michael broke down and cried. We left it on the record, we couldn't get a take without it. I said, "Now Michael hasn't been married three or four times, so I know he's not relating to a past experience like that", 'cause this event was a very mature emotion in a song. But he related to it because he's so sensitive and aware. And I mean, literally, the tears just fell out of his eyes, and he could just barely get his voice together, the single last word in there, so we just left it in the record.