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West Haven Ranch / Hidden Valley (Home Video)

Date assessed from the fact that Barry White purchased the horse Mandingo for his wife Glodean sometime in 1976, (“less than a year before [January 6, 1977]”) and Glodean mentions in the video that “today [she] got on [Mandingo’s] back a little bit and was a little nervous and I got him a little nervous and so we were two nervous things.”, implying that this was her first time riding the horse. Most likely, this video was shot shortly after they purchased Mandingo.

Hidden Valley assessed by the facts that Katherine says “We’re here on Eve Arden’s ranch”, which is confirmed to be “a farm called Hidden Valley” in a 1985 Chicago Tribune article, “1151 Hidden Valley Road in Thousand Oaks” confirmed in Berg Properties listing. I’m assuming the owners (Eve Arden and Brooks West) personally named it “West Haven Ranch” due to several people calling it that in the video.

Transcript

Randy: We're out here in Westlake Village. This is like a Thursday today, the weather's fine, as you can see. 1. 1,2. 1,2. Sound is low, sound is low.

Michael: Hi, simply hi. Lula mae come in. What's your name, dear?

Lula: Lula.

Michael: Lula Mae.

Lula: Dear.

Michael: Do you know that we're taping?

Lula: No, I didn't know that.

Michael: We're taping! Come on mother.

Lula: Kate, did you see that face Mike made? It's on there now.

Michael: Mother look in the camera. Say hi to all the gang out there.

Katherine: Move Janet, so I can see. I didn't know I looked like this. You better take me from the side so I don't look so big.

Jermaine: It's on the film already.

Katherine: Oh it is? Well here Jermaine, I don't want to be on the film.

Lula: Well you're already on there. You don't have any choice, do you?

Katherine: Mm look at (Minnie?)

Lula: Don't do that, Kate! Look natural. my aunt. My Look natural? Ok. Now shoot it far away, don't show a close-up Jim. Here's Stacee. Don't close your eyes, don't be bashful, come on. What is your name?

Michael: What's your name? Her name is smelly.

Stacee: Stacee.

Katherine: Say it a little bit louder, you know you're not bashful.

Stacee: Stacee.

Katherine: What's your last name?

Stacee: Brown.

Michael: We're out here today and uh the weather's nice.

Lula: What am I supposed to be saying, anything? I really like this little ranch here and here comes this horse.

Glodean: He's very upset today but he will cool down. He has caused me to break a nail and I'm going to break a hoof. And that's all I got to say.

Lula: Ok, here.

Katherine: I've been on this thing once, I don't know what to say, just that we're here on Eve Arden's ranch and uh to see all the horses. And I hope to be riding one soon. Maybe that'll help me lose some weight. Waltzing Matilda. Hello, howdy, ha'you, what's cookin'? I didn't do it. Does this thing work? Uh oh. Michael- This is Mrs.G. Ms.G? Mrs.G! Here comes country. OK G. Hazel! I don't know.

Hazel: Michael! Stop it!

Michael: Stop what?

Hazel: I was taking my thing off and all my fat hanging all out.

Katherine: Michael stop following me.

Michael: There they go. Funky city. Smelly and Shelly.

Stacee: I see grandma and Hazel What'd you say? You see who? ♫And they call it♫ Michael: Who do you see now Stacee? Stacee .. durrr. *laughs* Mhm, caught you. Durr. Get your rump down. Stacee. (Cause you act like a bear?) Here Stacee mother wants you. *beatbox* I am now talking to Mrs. Jelly. I know. *makes sound with mouth* *laughs* Don't worry that was my mouth, not what you think. Don't be silly, dilly. See that ugly ape? That is Randy Jackson. Hey Randy, dance! Just do- Randy! See that clown? Do you see that clown? Here comes the bear. Stacee, go up there. Say hi, mommy! durrr durrrrr. ♫What's is all about♫ It smells like doodoo out here. The weather's nice. ♫When you kiss, you turn me on♫

Jermaine (?) :Randy! Bring your big head on up here.

Michael : ♫That's the way uh huh uh huh♫ Randy Jackson, we are now talking to Randy Jackson from Funkyville, Tennessee. Yes, that was the sound of the horse. How are we coming out there? Is it what or what? Come and sing a little song

Michael and Randy: ♫ I gotta get my old tuxedo pressed because I've got to look my best, Lulu's back in town.♫

Michael and Randy:♫ I gotta get my old tuxedo pressed because I've got to look my best, Lulu's back in town.♫

Randy: You were off.

Michael: You.... smack! can't you sing in key? This is a beautiful horse, he is owned by the ranch. What's his name? He is covered with white and brown. Is this your horse sir? Very nice horse. Is this your horse? Oh this is Jermaine's! Watch it, Stacee! I can't break out around here. Randy looks like he wants eggs, he likes his fried hard. Lookin' up at us. We are now shooting at donkeys. Now zooming in on donks. (Jermaine doing something to a horse)

Michael: oh Jermaine..

Jermaine: *laughs*

Michael: That's terrible. Man that's not nice. That poor horse, what if he just- Here is Katherine Jackson, who's now in her brown and her beige, chewing away. There she is, here she comes down the aisle modeling for us.

Katherine: I don't wanna say anything! I don't like the way I photograph. I guess I'm just ugly that's all.

Janet: But you're the prettiest one of us.

Michael: No, you're the prettiest.

Stacee: Hey grandma?

Janet: I'm tired.

Michael: derrrrrp

Michael: Just saying, honey, I just don't like to be photographed.

Katherine: Do you want to stay out here with him?

Michael: That is Janet. ♫ I gotta get my old tuxedo pressed because ♫ Jermaine is now saddling his horse which is a very hard thing to do. You have to be very steady and you have to have practice or else you'll get kicked. That's a beautiful saddle given to him by Barry White. Very nice. Very nice. There he is looking like Bozo the clown. And we'll now turn the mic over to another person thank you. The weather's fine today and uh it seems, you know, a little cloudy but we are having some vicinity of a little slight rain, but we're still having a good time viewing the horses and I'll turn the mic back to my daughter.

Stacee: Horse.

Michael: What did you say? ..One leg. Why did you do that? Randy do some impressions, some impersonation on the camera. ♫Strangers in the night♫ *laughs* Please don't bend over like that again. Yeah.

Jermaine: You're looking good.

Michael: We are now.. Janet (?) : horse day. (?)

Michael: There you go you got it right that's your name, on the saddle. And his horse. What? ♫ babababeee bop ♫ I think we are (?) You've got it right baby. That's me controlling this voice.

Stacee: Michael.

Michael: deeerrp This is towards the driveway, I don't know whose tacky tractor this is. Oo Randy oo. This is Glo. The horse ruined her nails and she's trying to get it together. He broke the whole nail. She don't know I'm filming her now. There she is. (Otto?) now calling her, Glodean I'm filming you. She said she has sticks in her nail temporarily. I broke it. Mandingo broke it she said. ♫ you you you ♫ *horse noises* She said she's getting her nail on. The gang is now calling her, she has to rush to the stable. *laughs* It's those long nails, unbelievable. Put her in the Guinness Book of World Records. There she goes Glodean. Running to her horse. They going up to the house now? Lola Mae, mother, Hazel, Stacee, and Janet. Ain't that nice? ♫Strangers in the night♫ There's the video machine that we are now taping on. I'll try to show the TV record. Oh I can't, it's too dark. There's too much sunlight. But fresh day everything is nice. I can't believe the weather it's unbelievable. But see those trees up there see that clear sky? Well that's it. Show a little cloud, see those little clouds? That's the weather we're having, it's very nice stuff. Wanna see some more nice weather? See that? Are you checking it out? Pretty nice day.

Jermaine: Now my sound is back in. And oh really? And now you're looking at Valencia, Hazel and Joanne. And if we could get close here it'll be very nice, yeah. And um yeah there we go. Now a little zoom. Hazel Hazel! You all are on camera and um.. Yes now if we swing to our right around here, out there are some mangy-ass horses. Uh, and here we are looking at my horse. His name is Apache. And here comes fatass right here. That's fatass. Look at her. And there's Apache. Barry eat your heart out Barry White. Motherfucker you. And here comes Glodean, she's coming down the aisle. Wait go back because I'd like to interview you. Wait go back until I tell you hold. Step away but don't get by the horses. Okay wait I'll tell you what. Come right here Glodean. No come right here. Okay listen stand right in front of the fence there, he ain't gonna kick. That's Glodean ladies and gentleman there, and uh she's very happy to be on the ranch. Hold it I will be talking with you in a moment. As soon as I get your face here focused. And Barry we're having a ball. And now I'm going to interview Glodean. I'm trying to get a good shot on her. Glodean White. Yes. That's mother. That is mother. And I will be coming over there in one second.

Glodean: Seriously?

Jermaine: Um, yes. Mrs. White how do you like Mandingo?

Glodean: Oh I love him.

Jermaine: Do you love him?

Glodean: yes.

Jermaine: Yes and uh let me see, where is Mandingo now?

Glodean: he's over there getting brushed and getting groomed for the evening.

Jermaine: How did he cooperate today?

Glodean: Oh he cooperated very well and he was a very good spirit, in fact today I got on his back a little bit and I was a little nervous and I got him a little nervous and so we were two nervous things.

Jermaine: Oh yeah well tell me how many nails did you break today? Ladies and gentlemen look at these.

Glodean: I broke two nails today. You going two nails, oh my God! Did you see that? Did you see that? We're out here on the Windy Hill Ranch, no it's the Westhaven Ranch, yes sorry there. Okay I would like to know do you love your horse?

Glodean: I adore my horse.

Jermaine: Oh my God. Ok well Dotty Dotty we have to have a couple of words from you, come on over here. Now here comes Mrs. Blubber, she'll be with us in a moment. Check out her stomach. Ok, come on Dotty. Oh here she comes. Okay we have to put her in the middle here, so let's get this thing together. Tell us when we're all in frame, Hazel.

Dotty: What are you doing here?

Jermaine: Ok we're in frame, ok Dotty how do you like these thoroughbreds on your ranch.

Dotty: You lost your cotton-picking mind, they're appaloosas, honey.

Jermaine: They are appies.

Dotty: Very sexy.

Jermaine: They're sexy? Ok, well tell me what's the name of those two mangy horses you have sitting right here?

Glodean: Oh you mean those two little fuzzy ones?

Jermaine: Yeah those two fuzzy wuzzy ones.

Glodean: You know the baby and the mother.

Jermaine: The powder puffs.

Dotty: Oh you're talking about the overgrown dogs. Overgrown dogs.

Glodean: Tell me Dotty, could you honestly say which horse looks the best on your ranch?

Dotty: That's like saying which man is the handsomest? Honey, they're all good-looking.

Jermaine: One way or the other.

Jermaine:If you had to pick which horses would you choose?

Glodean: Of course mine!

Dotty: all of them

Jermaine: We want one answer.

Dotty: That's like saying who do you want Sidney Poitier or Elvis Presley. You've lost your mind.

Glodean: She can have them both.

Dotty: Yeah!

Glodean: This is all I have to say.

Jermaine: Okay ladies and gentlemen off the set. Listen this is Scoop Newsworthy talking to you from WWWW. And we'll be back in a moment, wait Glodean come over here. Come over here Glodean. Come over here. How my now Hazel? Where did you get that gorgeous saddle?

Glodean: Oh I bought it over here at a little saddle shop.

Jermaine: A little saddle shop. Oh how much did he hit you for?

Glodean: Oh I will never tell.

Jermaine: Oh my God secrets okay well do you like your horsey.

Glodean: I love my horsey cause he's pretty and his name is Mandingo Red.

Jermaine: Hazel get over here, get over here Hazel. Get over here. Joanne, come on.

Glodean: I just want to know who is the owner of the little fuzzy tailed fantail over here.

Jermaine: Are we all in the frame? Now um I've been with these three for seven days now and I've had it up to here, but as you can see, they're nice and calm and they're being very nice to me and this one is ridiculous, this one cries a lot, and this one, she's alright, she's alright. But as you can see, her husband is standing (??). Yep and uh this is the Westhaven Ranch. Would you like to say a couple words lady?

Hazel: No?

Jermaine: You can't be camera shy now say something.

Hazel: I have a horsey.

Jermaine: What's your horsey's name?

Hazel: Quinn because he's a lover like Anthony.

Jermaine: Oh is he?

Hazel: Yeah, he's a lover like Anthony.

Jermaine: Isn't that something. How old is he?

Hazel: He's nine months old and he's right over there.

Jermaine: Is that that mangy looking one? No.

Jermaine: Okay well um, Mrs. White. Yes. All these people here are just adoring your nails and they want to know how did you grow them so long?

Glodean: That's my secret.

Jermaine: Oh my god. Ok, (Blanchett) get over here. Oh, he's the cameraman ladies and gentlemen. Now we're signing off so as you can see, I'm the emcee. Blanchett, We have to get a little scene here. Blanchett get over here, get over here. Zoom back on me. Well it seems like nobody knows how to work this camera so what we're going to do here is.. We gotta have Barry over, Barry get over here. Come on, I need somebody on the set with me. Ok, isn't it focused? What's your opinion about these appies?

Barry: I hate them.

Jermaine: You hate them? Why do you hate them?

Barry: Well they've got a lot of white on them.

Jermaine: Oh really? that's really really really really really

Jermaine: What type of horse would you prefer?

Barry: Well if I had my choosing I'd like that little baby over there. That little baby pony over there.

Jermaine: Oh that mangy looking one?

Barry: that mangy looking one.

Jermaine: ok well um let me see, let me see here. I'm running out of questions. Are there any questions from the audience?

Barry: The two big horses I like. There's one appaloosa with a nice beautiful white blanket over yonder, and there's another nice red appaloosa, you see? That the lady's cleaning up. It's a lovely horse. Worth plenty of money. The horse named Mandingo, and I have another horse by the name of what is it Apache. Mandingo is a runner. He belongs to the lady Mrs. White. THE Mrs. White, the wife of Mr. Barry White. And the horse Apache belongs to Jermaine Jackson of the Jackson 5. Here he is, he's also the emcee of this show.

Jermaine: Yes, this is Scoop Newsworthy saying we will be back in a momento. So in other words, we're signing off. And this is Mrs. White here. And you can see she has never been used to TV. Come back over here. Goodbye.